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FDP Forum / Tin Pan Alley - Songwriting / Freedoms Calling

Soundchoice

U.S.A. WI

life`s new lease
Nov 17th, 2008 09:47 AM Edit Profile Print Topic Search Topic
One day I was more than a little upset because they passed that stupid bailout and jotted down this first attempt ever at a protest song. It starts with the chorus and the verses are spoken.

FREEDOMS CALLING
FREEDOMS CALLING, US AWAY
FROM THIS PLACE, WE`RE IN TODAY
FREEDOMS CALLING, WILL WE RESPOND
OR LOSE MORE FREEDOMS, FROM NOW ON

A LOT OF PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO FREE SPEECH, AND SO DO I
THE WORKERS WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THEIR JOBS, GIVEN AWAY—
WE USED TO BUILD CARS AND TRUCKS
AND MAKE STEEL
NOW WE`RE GREETERS AND BAGGING GROCERIES

FREEDOMS CALLING, US AWAY
FROM THIS PLACE, WE`RE IN TODAY
FREEDOMS CALLING, WILL WE RESPOND
OR LOSE MORE FREEDOMS, FROM NOW ON

IF MOST AMERICANS FELT THE BAILOUT WAS A MISTAKE, WHY DID WE DO IT?
IS THIS TRULY A DEMOCRACY?
DOES ANYONE REALLY REPRESENT YOU IN WASHINGTON? I DON`T THINK SO.
SOLDIERS DYING, TO KEEP US FREE
AND WE DON`T EVEN VOTE, MAN, WHAT`S WRONG WITH ME?

FREEDOMS CALLING, WHY CAN`T WE SEE
IT`S UP TO YOU, IT`S UP TO ME
FREEDOMS DYING, WHY CAN`T WE SEE
IT`S UP TO YOU, AND IT`S UP TO ME

benjybeaver
Contributing Member
****

USA - Illinois

Age is a number..."Old" is an attitude.
Nov 17th, 2008 10:02 AM Edit Profile Print Topic Search Topic
Fine if you're going to play this in a protest march, but not much else. I understand the sentiment, but way too laser beam political for much else.

As far as construction, you lurch back and forth from the bailout to solders dying to workers losing jobs...seems like you are trying to cram everything wrong into a few sentences. It almost seems like you need to take a breath.

There also seems to be some disparate concepts here. You mention "losing free speech" in the first verse...wouldn't this song itself imply that you have not lost free speech by virtue of its construction?

Anyway that's my take.
Peace,
Ben
Mauer and Verson

Soundchoice

U.S.A. WI

life`s new lease
Nov 17th, 2008 11:39 AM Edit Profile Print Topic Search Topic
Thanks Ben--I think you are right.

FDP Forum / Tin Pan Alley - Songwriting / Freedoms Calling

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